Lights rise to reveal a man in a Santa costume in the mall reading a newspaper. He looks disgruntled and none of the small children passing by want to sit with him. After a moment of Santa glaring intently at one particular little girl as she cries while her mother walks past with her in tow. Soon the mall manager walks on stage and comes to stand in front of Santa. Santa glares at him challengingly.
Manager
(Dry, almost frightened, increasingly frantic as it goes on)
Yeah… um… Jack? I don’t think this is working out. (Santa’s glare continues, unmoved) I… um… think it’s time you uh… left. Ya know? You’ve got to have been feeling it by now too. (Santa unflinching) Seriously, I’m just gonna’ have to let you go, and that’s all there is to it. Not a single child will sit with you, what do you expect me to do?! (Santa doesn’t blink) You don’t have to get so upset, man, you had to have known this was coming. What, are you stupid? You don’t have to make such a big deal out of this, man! Just get up and walk out the door! I swear, I’ll call the security guards and have them escort you off the premises, you don’t want that now do you? (pause, Santa doesn’t respond, continues glaring.) What do you want? Okay… I won’t call security, but please just stop staring at me like that! Please, just stop it! You can keep the job, just don’t look at me like that! Okay?! God, make it stop!
Santa looks away slowly, and begins reading the newspaper again, paying no attention at all to the manager. The manager takes a moment to collect himself and then returning to his newspaper. The Manager sighs in relief and walks backwards away timidly, not taking his eyes off Santa. Once he exits off stage, Santa stops glaring, and cracks his neck.
Lights rise to reveal a child sitting listlessly on a couch watching tv. A mother is sweeping the floor. Pause on this image for a moment. Lights fade.
Lights rise to reveal that child playing with lego’s on a table. The mother is dusting. Pause on this image for a moment. Lights fade.
Lights rise to reveal the child clicking about and typing on a computer. The Mother is Vacuuming the carpet. Pause on this image for a moment. Lights fade.
Lights rise to reveal the child playing a video game on the tv. The Mother is scrubbing down the Table with disinfectant. Pause on this image for a moment. The child pauses the game and goes out the door to go check the mail. Once outside the child takes a nice long pleasant breath and stretches. His stretch and breath are interrupted by violent coughing. The child continues to cough as he walks to grab the mail, as he does so he trips and puts his hands out to stop his fall. His/Her hands get noticeably covered with dirt. The child gets up and grabs the mail and heads back inside. He/She closes the door but continues to cough. The mother rushes over to her child concerned. While he is coughing she notices his dirty hands, and sprays disinfectant on them and wipes them up with the towel in her hands. Lights fade.
Lights rise to reveal two mean, crazed looking men glaring at each other. One is holding a red flag, and the other is holding a blue flag. They start bickering in gibberish... non-coherently yelling at each other and almost physically harming each other. Some people not carrying flags walk on stage. Suddenly the two become calm, putting on smiles, and are pleasant in their gibberish speaking ways. After a moment, the people not carrying flags exit. The two start bickering again. A man holding a green flag strolls on stage and inspects the two.
Green
Whatever do you two think you are accomplishing bickering about like that?
The two men turn to stare at this man, perplexed by his speech.
While you’re sitting here bickering amongst yourselves, the world around you is being torn to pieces. Truly, even your dim-witted selves realize that the world is always in need of saving. Really, you’re acting as primitive as if you’d just crawled out of a primordial cave to bop a woolly mammoth on the head with that stick of yours.
The two men look slowly at the green man, then at themselves, then at each other, then back towards the green man, much more docile. They are both about to speak when they notice some normal people coming onstage; at which point in time, the two of them give each other quick glances and then team up and push the man with the green flag out of sight, working together to do so. They then turn back around walking side by side to come greet the people, all smiles. Lights fade to the sound of gibberish from the two men, and approval from the people.
Lights rise to reveal a group of three people standing looking at a plain door. Bold is rather excited while looking at the door. Timid is rather nervous while looking at the door. Apathetic doesn’t care enough to look at the door. After a moment, Bold realizes that someone has to take charge of the situation, so he steps forward authoritatively towards the doorway. Timid becomes quite distraught when detecting Bold’s intentions.
Timid
What are you doing Bold?
Bold
I am stepping through this doorway of course!
Timid
(Getting quite passionately frightened)
That’s a terrible idea! What on earth would possess you to do that!?
Bold
I have a need to know what’s on the other side. It might be something I’ve never experienced before.
Timid
Precisely, if you haven’t experienced it before… then how can you be sure it won’t be something terrible?
Bold
I don’t. That’s precisely what makes it worth doing.
Timid stares at Bold, incredulous. Upon not receiving a response Bold turns back around and heads for the door again. Timid desperately attempts to cause him to reconsider. Apathetic yawns.
Timid
If something happens to you what are we to do? Did you even once consider us before deciding to do something so brash?
Bold
(Stopping to think for a second)
Now that you mention it, I don’t think I stopped to think I considered anything, much less you, before deciding to do something so audacious. Huh.
Timid
But… you… you must always consider the consequences to your actions, else something terrible could end up happening!
Bold
If you take all your time considering consequences, however, you fail to allow anything at all, terrible or lovely to happen. (Sincerely confused) What kind of an existence is that to live?
Timid
An assuredly prolonged one!
Bold starts to consider for a second, but notices the door again and remembers his initial interest and excitement immediately, and begins to once again walk towards it. Timid, by this point, has become so very nervous as to be searching around desperately all around him for something to stop Bold.
Timid
(Desperate)
Apathetic, are you just going to stand there and watch him do something so brazen?
Apathetic turns to Timid, stares at him for a second, and then shrugs nonchalantly. Bold Opens the door, and steps through, closing it as he enters. A moment passes. Timid quickly steps over to the door frantically trying to listen with his ear on it. Apathetic watches him for a moment, yawns unconcerned, and walks offstage. Lights fade.
Lights rise to reveal a very messy apartment with clothes strewn about, pans strewn about the top of the stove, the bedroom with unfinished and finished drawings alike scattered about. In from stage left enters a frantic looking man, he first looks around and locates a large duffel bag amidst the cloths on his bedroom floor. He then begins shoving some of that clothing into said duffel bag, before moving on to grab his Phone of the counter and shove that in his bag. Going to the cabinets and starts to throw all sorts of cans of food into his bag. He runs quickly to the bathroom and proceeds to grab the bare essentials, including tooth brush, deodorant, and shampoo. He then takes a minute to look over the entirety of the apartment, this time much more meticulously, to find anything that he missed. After being satisfied he grabs his coat off a hanger, swings it on, makes sure he has his wallet in his back pocket, and heads back out the door, bag in hand. Lights fade except for a single spotlight focused on his keys dangling off a hanger directly center stage in plain view from practically anywhere in the apartment. After a moment, that last light fades.
Lights rise to reveal a Man center stage intently peeling an orange. All his focus is taken completely by this action, as if he can’t even notice anything about the world around him; only the orange. After a few moments people start pouring out from offstage going about their own daily tasks, a mix of loud and quite activities from reading a newspaper, to hammering a nail into a board, to eating a burger, to speaking loudly on a cell phone. Everybody but the Man with his orange notices and becomes aggravated; some even acting upon their aggravation towards people involved in activities louder then their own. The Man takes no notice of any of the people, still completely focused on peeling his orange. After a few moments, when the Man is just about finished peeling his orange all the other people stream offstage while still carrying out their own tasks, all of them aggravated due to the distractions of the others. After he is all alone onstage and he finishes peeling his orange, he holds it out in one hand to inspect it with an expression of accomplishment, and good humor; shrugs, and walks, with a bit of a bounce in his step, offstage. Lights fade.
Lights rise to reveal Nicholas sitting at a table looking around confused at a brightly lit plain, dull room. In from the door across from him, enters a jolly looking old man carrying a manila folder filled with much more paper than it seems like it was intended to carry. The Old man inclines his head to look at Nicholas over his glasses, shaking his head sadly. The Man sits down across from the terrified boy, and starts rummaging through the manila folder.
Man
(Still Rummaging through the papers)
How old are you, Nicholas?
Nicholas
(Shaking all over, obviously scared)
I... I'm twelve sir. (The Man looks up for a moment, and then goes back to rummaging, muttering to himself about how he was to young) But... how did you know my name? Where am I? Sir, what happened? I mean... the last thing I remember was walking listening to my music... and then there was this... pain, real bad pain... worse then when I broke my arm... and it was everywhere... and I didn't know what was happening or anything... and now... now I'm here, and now I feel fine...
Man
Well son, you feel fine now because well, you don't have any physical part of you with which to feel pain in.
Nicholas
(Confused)
Wha... what are you saying, sir? I don't understand...
The Man sighs, and pulls out a couple sheets of paper from the folder, before looking up at Nicholas.
Man
There's no easy way to say this, kid. Trust me, when you've had this job as long as I have, you realize that. Nicholas, son, you are dead.
Nicholas starts in shock and disbelief, not knowing how to respond in the least.
I know. It's terrible. But, hey, buck up kid-o, I've got some good news for ya. Ya, see, right here in my hand I have a list of, with pictures and a quick description of your choices for who to be this time around. The quality of people of course being based on how decent a guy you were with that last chance you just had.
Nicholas
(Incredulous)
But... I... I...
Man
(Reassuringly)
Hey, don't worry about it, bud. See, you're polite, self, well, you're tugging at my heart strings, so... I've pulled out an extra nice sheet that along with yours that um... well, lets just let that be our little secret. (winks, slides papers over) Alright, so, just take a little time to look over your choices and tell me when you've made up your mind, and I'll get you squared away and shot into your new life faster then you can say "Look out for that bus!".
Nicholas looks from the Man to the list then back again, before looking back at the list and looking it over thoroughly. The man watches him patiently. After a moment Nicholas slides the sheet back across the table and puts his finger on one of the pictures.
Nicholas
I... I guess that one seems pretty good...
Man (Cheerful)
Oooh, good choice Nick-O; she's a cutie! And she's gonna’ play the flute even, very nice choice indeed, my friend. I'll send your choice up to the boss right now.
The Man picks up the paper and sticks his head out the door he entered handing the paper to someone else and muttering something inaudible. He then closes the door and comes over to Nicholas' side of the table. Happily motioning for him to get up, and giving him a reassuring hug. A green light comes on over the door that was behind Nicholas.
Oh, there you go, bud. Just step right through that door, and you'll be on your way to another chance at happiness. You don't worry about a thing, I'm gonna pull some strings to make sure you get an extra long run at this one to make up for the bad luck with that last go at it. You can count on me.
Nicholas stares at the door, not moving. The man gives him a slight nudge forward.
Out you go, son! Into the world with, ya!
Nicholas (Turning around before opening the door, earnestly)
Tha... Thank you, sir.
Man
Just doing my job, son...
Nicholas nods affirmingly before turning around and opening the door, staring out for a second, taking a breathe, and slowly, but surely stepping forward through the door and closing it behind him. The Man stares after him for a few moments.
Lights rise to reveal many tall men wearing boring dark similar clothes staring at a doorway. The door opens and all the men tense up. Through the door steps a tall man wearing similar clothes, walking slowly, drowsily. The men who were waiting relax, and guide the newcomer into their ranks. Everyone watches as the newcomer overcomes his drowsiness, and then they all, including the newcomer turn their attention once again at the door. After a moment the door opens. All the men tense up. Through the door steps a tall man wearing similar clothes but with a neat dark hat, walking slowly, drowsily. The men who were waiting look perplexed. One steps up and takes the mans hat, opens the door, and tosses it out. The men who were waiting relax, and guide the newcomer into their ranks. Everyone watches as the newcomer overcomes his drowsiness, and then they all, including the newcomer turn their attention once again at the door. The door opens and all the men tense up. Through the door steps a short brightly clothed man wearing the previous mans hat walking slowly, drowsily. The men who were waiting are frozen in horror. As soon as the brightly colored man starts to regain focus, one of the drab men rushes forward to try and push him back through the door. Upon being forced, the brightly colored man responds by resisting. When the drab man cannot force him by himself, all the others swarm around him and push him crying back through the door, and close it franticly. All the drab men sigh and wipe sweat from their brows, and then they all, turn their attention once again at the door. Lights fade.
Lights rise on the left side of the stage to reveal Samuel poutily staring at his food, while sitting alone at lunch.
Samuel:
(Downcast and pouty at first, then becomes quite excited, very hyper. Everything extremely in an extremely loud, obnoxious, and amazingly exaggerated manner)
This is the most terrible food in the world. It doesn’t even look like spaghetti. How hard would it be to give us decent food every once and a while? I mean, food grows on trees and stuff! Oh wait… I have… Chocolate! OOOOh, I haven’t had chocolate in hours! (1) That creamy Milky Way is looking so yummy… I can already feel it melting in my mouth… (2) I hate all this gross school food I have to eat first… No one in the whole world would want to eat this stuff! You know what, who’s gonna say anything if I just skip to dessert first! Yeah, Mommy won’t ever find out. I’ll just go throw away all this gross school food.
Samuel pushes his tray aside, and pulls out of his bag a large Milky Way and gleefully gobbles it all up quickly.
While this is going on, on the other side of the split screen the lights slowly rise, after the ones on stage left already have, as if the sun is finally reaching it. (Starts happening at the 1).Revealing a young African boy ( All his actions are very downcast, lacking, and understated) clutching his stomach, and pouring (starts happening at the 2) into a bowl a few kernels of rice, and blankly eating it. Then putting everything away and walking off stage right at the same time that Samuel walks of jollily stage left, holding the tray full of food he’s going to dump. Lights fade at the same time on both sides.
Lights rise to reveal a dimly lit office, with only a small couch, and a chair to it’s left. On the chair sits a scholarly looking man holding a clipboard. Sitting on the couch, as far away from each other as they can possibly be are Trevor and Cynthia, both happen to be T-Rex’s.
Trevor
(Semi crying, semi trying to suppress that.)
It’s not even like she cares at all, he just sits there and roars at me. It’s like she’s been giving me the angry silent treatment since for years… We haven’t spoken in God knows how long. I just don’t know what to do anymore… (pause) Like… yesterday, I told her I was going to go check the mail, and I thought she was going to be civil that day because she did that little growling thing she does when she’s playing…but then when I came back in and asked for help getting the letter that I couldn’t get because my little arms couldn’t reach far enough into the mail box, she just gave me this blank look like she didn’t understand a word of what I was saying. I mean, she knows how frustrating it is to have arms that don’t work with all this stuff designed for you freakishly long armed humans; no offence, the least she could have done is say she was sorry or something… or offer to console me… or… just… anything. That’s what I’m getting at here, I keep trying to tell her that a marriage is supposed to be a two way street, and I guess it might be a bad metaphor because she can’t fit in a car, and might not know how that system works… but really… I just don’t know what she wants out of this relationship. She’s not even just using me for my money, she still likes to go out and kill her own food… which she doesn’t share with me by the way… even though I gave up being a vegetarian just to make her happy, I’m still not allowed to eat out of the same carcass as her. Heck, she’s even physically violent sometimes, and I’m not just talking about in bed, I mean at random times during the day if I accidentally get to close to her in the hall or something, the other day she actually bit me right on the neck. I don’t know if you can tell, but that may look like a tiny, cute little jaw she’s got there… but let me tell you, looks can be deceiving! (sighs) I don’t know… (Pause) That’s just it… I don’t know. I have no idea what to do anymore. I mean… despite all of this, my heart still skips a gigantic beat whenever I see her eyes open instantaneously from sleep whenever the softest of sounds is made. I still have that urge to snuggle up close to her when we’re watching a scary movie, even though I’m terribly afraid for my life when I try to… even with the years of angry, and disapproving looks, and roars… I… (can’t hold back the tears any longer) I still love the entirety of her being with every ounce of mine…
Trevor attempts to dab the tissue he has in his hand on his eyes but can’t reach. The man turns from Trevor to Cynthia.
Man:
Well, ma’am, your husband obviously cares about you very, very deeply… you should feel lucky, it’s very hard these days to find anyone who is the least bit actually devoted to their spouse much less willing to pay a fourth of their salary every week to try and keep things afloat between the two of them… He’s trying to reach out to you… won’t you but take his hand… won’t you come away from your own immediate selfish wants, and give back just a little something? (Expectant pause, Cynthia doesn’t appear to be listening) Well… um… is there anything at all you’d like to add to this, keep in mind ma’am… this could be the last time to save your marriage… Now… would you like to say anything?
Cynthia cocks her head a little bit, staring at the man. Suddenly she lets out an extremely deafening roar, the Man covers his ears in agony. The roar lasts for a couple long seconds. After finished, the Man is still wincing in pain, and Cynthia looks from the Man to Trevor with blankness in her eyes. In this silence a cat is heard meowing off stage right. Cynthia immediately goes into furious hunting mode and runs off stage right roaring all the while. After a moment of astounded recovery, the Man looks slowly at the bawling Trevor.
Man:
(Blank, confused)
Are you… are you sure that’s really the woman you want to be with the rest of your life?
Trevor nods slowly, sadly.
Trevor:
It’s just that feeling she gives me… ya know? I couldn’t ever tell you why she makes me feel that way…
Man:
Hey… way of topic question, I know, but just wondering, I don’t mean to offend, believe me… but… weren’t you guys supposed to have done that whole extinct thing a while ago?
Lights rise to reveal a Mother tucking in her daughter Cindy, and impatiently trying to explain something to her distraught daughter
Mother
(Exasperated)
How many times am I going to have to explain this to you Cindy? There isn’t any such thing as the Tooth Fairy. All of that money under your pillow was just from me.
Cindy
(Tear stricken, Disbelief)
But… but... Mommy… that means you’ve lied to me so many times…
Mother
(Trying to be soothing)
I know honey… but it’s not like I was trying to hurt you. In fact, I lied to you with the exact opposite intent. I lied to make you happier. Think about it, would you rather have never thought that magical creatures like the tooth fairy could exist? Would you really be happier facing the true, real, ugly world your entire life? I know I sure wouldn’t.
Cindy
Oh, I understand why you made up the Tooth Fairy; it’s the other lies you told that are making me upset.
Mother
(Confused)
Other lies? What other lies?
Cindy
Like… last week when I asked if you could buy me a pony and you said we didn’t have enough money… and all the other times you said we didn’t have enough money for anything… Ever!
Mother
But… Cindy, honey, those weren’t lies. We really can’t afford anything like a pony just now. (Mumbles quietly)We can’t even really afford much more then ramen at the moment… What makes you think I’m lying?
Cindy
Well, all the money you put under my pillow last night for the tooth I lost!
Mother
(Cocks head)
You lost a tooth yesterday?
Cindy
Of course I did Mommy! Then last night you put this under my pillow.
Cindy pulls out a tightly rolled stack of hundred dollar bills from under her pillow. MOTHER gapes in astonishment. Silence for a moment.
Mother
(Taken aback)
I… Cindy… but… you… (Mumbles to self, astonished) She’s… she’s real… this whole time… My parents weren’t lying… I wasn’t lying… No one was lying… The Tooth Fairy’s real… (Collects herself and speaks excitedly) Cindy… how many baby teeth do you have left?!
