Unfortunate.

Lights rise to reveal a man whose arm is quite monstrous and grotesque. The man is staring at this arm with much alarm, to say the least. There is a moment in which he doesn’t rightly know what to do in the current situation which he finds himself in. Beat. Suddenly the disgusting arm flings itself towards his face rather violently and he lets out a yelp as he is flung onto his back straight onto the floor. His other arm trying desperately to pull the monstrous arm off his face, he proceeds to thrash around while squealing and sobbing quite audibly. Beat. Suddenly the arm lets go of his face and drops to his side. The thrashing continues for a quick second afterward until he realizes what has happened. Silence. He stands up slowly, using his nice arm for propulsion, his mean arm dangling at his side lifeless. When he is standing he proceeds to look down at his mean arm in a very worried, very jumpy, very scared way. Beat. After nothing has happened for quite some time he gets up the courage to slowly poke the mean arm with his nice hand. Nothing happens. A moment of release. He then begins pondering what to do. He quickly runs offstage. He comes back with a roll of duct tape and begins, almost triumphantly, to tape his mean arm to his side. In the middle of this process his mean arm suddenly starts feverishly trying to escape but the man mockingly laughs at it as he continues to tape it in place. He finishes taping and his entire arm from the shoulder down to right before the hand is taped, quite thoroughly, to his side. The hand thrashes about wildly. The man smiles down at it joyously. Beat. The hand stops for a moment, seemingly worn out. The man raises his nice fist in victory. Suddenly his mean hand clamps down on his leg bearing its grotesque finger nails into his skin. The man yelps and plummets to the floor as his leg gives out. Lights fade.

Fin.

Notice.

Lights rise in a small circle center stage to reveal nothing. Lights fade.

Lights rise in a slightly larger circle center stage to reveal nothing. Lights fade.

Lights rise in a slightly larger circle center stage to reveal nothing. Lights fade.

Lights rise in a slightly larger circle center stage to reveal nothing. Lights fade.

Lights rise covering practically the entire stage to reveal nothing. Lights fade.

Lights rise in a slightly smaller circle center stage to reveal nothing. Lights fade.

Lights rise in a slightly smaller circle center stage to reveal nothing except for a small stuffed panda on the floor at the edge of the light. Lights fade.

Lights rise in a slightly smaller circle center stage to reveal nothing. Lights fade.

Lights rise in a small circle center stage to reveal nothing. Lights fade.

A voice is heard in the darkness.

VOICE:

Everyone always complains about the constancy, and monotony of this world. Those people simply weren’t looking hard enough for that moment every once and a while when something small spices up the human experience.

Lights have already faded.

Fin.

Vantage.

Lights rise to reveal a man and woman standing on the top of a decently sized tower inspecting the world below. A man walks towards the tower, his back to the audience. He has to speak quite loudly for the people on top to hear him, and he does so.

MAN:

Would you mind maybe coming down for a while? We really could use a little help down here. It’s not such an easy life, this. Any assistance would be very much appreciated, you know! You do remember promising that you’d do some things to make our lives happier every once and a while don’t you? (pause) Well then. Maybe we’re just going to have to see about replacing you with some more trustworthy souls! Yes. I think that’s just what we will have to do. (pause, waits for a reaction. He receives none.) Really now! I-we are not fooling around down here. We have rights, you know! If you don’t start fulfilling your part of this bargain, well then, we are just going to have to do away with you. We mean it. (pause, continues desperate, quieter.) Please?

The man on the tower sticks his hand out in front of him holding a small pebble between two fingers. He releases the pebble sending it plummeting onto the upraised head of the man below. The woman on top of the tower giggles mercilessly. The man down below has a moment of pain and rubs his head. He then surprisingly becomes quite excited and thankful.

Oh, oh… You are too gracious! I thank you with all my heart! You have given me more than I am worthy of. Once again you have proven yourselves understanding and compassionate. The world will hear of the good you have done here today, mark my words! (He starts to slowly back up while speaking.) You have my eternal thanks. (he takes a small, quick, pleased bow while continuing to shuffle slowly backwards) Oh, would I were so fortuitous always.

He finally makes it offstage. The two on top of the tower are left alone. The woman looks at the man with a pleasant smile, and wide eyes. The other returns the look, then shrugs. They giggle for a short moment. After the giggle there is a moment of silence. The two have their faces and bodies sink a little. They sigh. The man takes a little marble in between his two fingers, holds out his hand, and lets the marble drop. As it claps to the floor the woman bursts into another fit of gleeful giggles. Lights fade.

Fin.

Pandemonium.

Lights rise to reveal a man sprawled out over a comfortable lounge chair. His head tilted back, his arm resting on his belly, asleep. He lets out a rather abrupt and interrupting snore. Disgusting. Slow, steady breathing returns. A moment later the last snore becomes dwarfed in size by a significantly louder windy snore. The man slightly wakes up but doesn’t quite reach it to consciousness sliding back into his chair, peaceful, sleeping. Again the only sound that is heard is the steady, gentle breathing pattern of the man picks up again. As he begins to snore for the third time A Man dressed as a mouse jumps out of the corner. He wipes sleepy gunk out of his eyes before yelling.

RAT:

Squeak, squeak, squeak!

The man snores once more, this time it is even more loud and disgusting then ever before. The Rat grabs the chair next to the one the man is in and raises it high above his head in a rage moving slowly towards the man. Lights fade.

Fin.

Logic.

Lights rise to reveal a woman staring very intently at an electric socket. She, without taking her focus off of the socket speaks to the audience in an excusatory manner.

WOMAN:

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why on earth would that woman even be considering sticking her tongue in that there electrical socket. (Pause) Well, I’ll answer your question the best I can. (Pause, she ponders) To tell the truth, I don’t think there is a logical explanation for why I feel the urge to do this right now. It’s just one of those things that takes hold of you every once and a while. You think about it and think about it and it won’t go away until you just give in and let it happen. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have some business to attend to before I can start focusing on other things again.

She takes a decided step forward towards the socket and bends over while readying her tongue. Lights fade.

Fin.

Supplanted.

Lights rise to reveal A Man Dressed As A Banana. He stands with a look of pride, gaiety, and carefree nature about him. He takes in a big ol’ breath of air, really lets it fill his lungs, and then lets it out with a satisfied sigh.

A Man Dressed As A Monkey hops into the light. The Man Dressed As A Monkey has a look of silly wonder and pleasant surprise about him. He smiles at the Man Dressed As A Banana, his eyes opened very wide. The Man Dressed As A Banana frowns. Lights fade.

Fin.

Evaluation.

Lights rise to reveal a rather large man walking across a dimly lit empty stage. Upon reaching center stage the man looks around nervously for a moment before taking out of his pocket a simple generic wallet, quickly popping out a substantial wad of cash and flipping through it to check one last time and setting it on the ground. He then proceeds to scuttle offstage quickly. Beat. After a moment of silence and stillness the lights begin to rise ever so unnoticeably. A single well dressed lady walks across the stage in such a hurry that she doesn’t even notice the wallet lying on the ground. People start crossing the stage in increasing masses as time goes by. At the point where the maximum amount of people are bustling about on stage (trampling over the wallet unknowingly) the lights also have reached their peak. After a moment of peak capacity the reverse starts to occur and slowly the amount of people and light begins to, ever so slowly, decrease. Eventually, when the light is as dim as it was to begin with and only a few people appear every once and a while the large man from the beginning appears again and goes to pick up his wallet. Just as he bends over to grab it a young couple walk on stage holding hands and giggling uncontrollably. The large man straightens up immediately, nervously smiling as the two walk by rather creeped out. He then proceeds to pick up the wallet checking the money, astonished to find it all still there.

MAN:

(Incredulous)

It passed the test. This city really is perfect.

Lights Fade.

Fin.

Impulse.

Lights rise on two women sitting on a couch facing each other. There is clearly some tension, but not outright anger, just stress as they stare each other down.

HOLLIE:

Well, do you have anything to say or ar-

RENEE:

(Reprimanding)

How many times am I going to have to tell you that you need try before you can do, be inspired before you can try, and yes, wonder before you can be inspired? Things don’t just happen. There is a long process behind the creation of every initiative. It can be traced back to a root if one truly takes the time to do it. This, spontaneity you keep going on about is usually one of two things, either someone’s preplanned motivation to do something that has nothing to do with their current situation, or someone fulfilling a long held under the surface desire in a time and place that it seems to be spontaneous to those around them. So, if you want me to do one of those two things, I can certainly try, but do not stand there and try to tell me that this relationship is falling apart because I have to plan everything, because I can’t just get up and do crazy things with no reason. Don’t you give me that cliché mumbo jumbo, because it’s rather juvenile, actually.

Silence. Beat. Lights fade slowly.

Fin.