Safety.

Lights rise to reveal a commercial airliner filled with people making the most of their traveling time, reading, talking lowly, and such; Each and every one with their safety belts fastened. One young Man wearing a rather fashionable hat and glasses sits sleeping with his head resting on the back of his seat. The Intercom kicks in suddenly and the voice of the Pilot is heard.

Pilot:

Ahh, folks, this is you’re Captain speaking, could you all just answer one question for me… How are y’all doing tonight?! You havin’ a good time? Those stewardess’ treatin’ you alright?

Pause, no one responds, except the man who had been sleeping wakes up at the sound of the intercom.

Alright, now folks, I’m gonna need a more enthusiastic response then that. I’ll give you another chance, How are y’all doin’ tonight?!

A couple passengers chuckle, otherwise no response.

People, I asked you a question. As your Captain I am ORDERING you to answer it! Answer the question or I swear I will fly this plane right into that mountain coming up!

The young man begins to look around frantically, while the rest sit pleasantly doing the same things they had been doing before.

I’m going to count to three, and if I don’t hear a noteworthy amount of sound from you people, I am so gonna kill us all; you mark my words, if I reach three and you people haven’t shown me some common courtesy as your captain, and superior, I swear to God I will kill all of us! One!

Still, no one but the young man with a fashionable hat and glasses is at all disturbed, and he is frantically looking around for some other indication that others can hear the Captain, but no one is showing any indication that they can.

Two!

The frantic young man undoes his seat belt and jumps up out of his seat, runs to pound his fists on the door to the cockpit while yelling at the top of his lungs.

Man:

(Desperately)

I’m doing just fine, sir… captain, sir!

Everyone on the plane looks shockedly at the Man as soon as he jumps up. A slight murmur is heard throughout the stage. The man looks around sweating nervously and panting from his panicky ordeal. The Pilots voice is heard once again over the intercom.

Pilot:

I’m being told that there is a man who does not have his seat belt fastened, even though the safety belt light is clearly on. Congratulations to all but that one man, you’ve passed the mandatory emergency situation simulation, and we will be taking off as soon as the only one stupid enough to panic and remove his safety belt when a crash was imminent is removed by security.

Two husky men come and apprehend the bewildered Man, dragging him out the door.

Have a nice flight, everyone.

Lights Fade.

Fin.